Driving Myself Insane
by D4cHilliN
Summary: Ranger has a few words to get off his chest and decides that now's a better time then any. Oneshot. Not a happy ending.


Enjoy.

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**Driving Myself Insane**

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_(I gotta figure out a way to tell you)._ **I'm goin' crazy without you. I just gotta let you know, Listen.**

**Best of friends for years closer than you can imagine  
Talk to each other daily I don't know just when it happened?  
If only I could tell you how I feel inside  
**_(Oh girl you got me)_** Losin' sleep, I'm thinkin'  
Can't imagine how it feels to see you ridin' around with the wrong guy  
Tell me how do I take his place?**

Ranger felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips as he watched Stephanie Plum emerge from the bathroom and swirl around to show off her dress.

"So," She frowned. "How do I look?"

"Good," He said lowly. "Real good." Actually, too damn good for this party they planned on attending for his clients. He had asked her at last minute, 2 hours before it to be exact, and she had complained that she had nothing to wear while he assured her that she didn't need to dress up that much.

Now, as he ran his eyes over her, he couldn't help but feel the normal spark of electricity run through him as it always did. Her dress was a dark red, cut short, showing off her slender legs. It connected right above her butt while the rest of her back was out with a spaghetti strap around her neck. The front of it was modest yet it showed a bit of cleavage and fit her body perfectly, like a second skin. Her hair, short and brown, had been curled and she had put makeup on lightly, which had brightened her beauty.

"Am I too dressed up?" She looked worried, biting her lip. Ranger's eyes flashed and he shook his head, thinking that he'd have to protect her all night from the roaming eyes of other males.

"No, you're fine." He stood up, straightened his suit and held out his hand and she took it, smoothing her fingers against the material.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Mr. Suave." She teased, poking his chest. The physical contact didn't help his emotions. As usual, he was feeling his feelings grow towards the woman and he hated it. Recently, it had been harder then usual to spend time with her without feeling an urge to grab her, take her and move away so they could be together.

The fantasies had left him nervous on more then one occasion. The fact that he had considered it was scary enough. Now was not the time however. This was business, nothing more.

He smiled. "I try."

"And you succeed." She grinned back and he felt his heart melt.

**You already know that I'm capable  
Can't you see who's been there all along?  
And I know I can't be wrong, oh tell me.**

"Ready?" Even if he had swore to himself to keep this trip neutral, he felt that, just for this night, that he could _have_ her. Without sharing with anyone else. Just tonight. The thought made him chuckle, he sounded like a little boy wanting a turn with a beloved toy.

"Almost." She patted his chest and crossed her apartment to her phone. "I just have to call Morelli and tell him I'll be home late."

Ranger watched her go and he felt a familiar ache. Reality crashed down upon him as he stared at her, dialing Morelli's number, and he realized that she wasn't his. She was never his. And as long as the cop was in her life, she'd never be his.

**Why…did I have to fall in love with you?** _(¿Cómo me haces falta tú?)_  
**When I know without you I can't function no more**  
**And you…, you'll never look at me the same** (_You know it's really drivin' me insane)_  
**When I know without you I can't function** (_¿Cómo me haces falta tú?)_

Why, of all times, was he feeling like this? It didn't make any sense and the vulnerable act didn't suit him. Why couldn't he just forget about Stephanie Plum and move on?

He watched her finish the call and spin around with a wide grin on her face. "All ready."

Ranger wasn't as enthusiastic. "Right." He said, starting towards the front door of her apartment. She didn't know exactly what it was, maybe it was the way he had glanced at her or the dull tone of which he had spoken but she frowned and grabbed his elbow so he'd face her.

"Is something wrong?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

Something is horribly wrong, He thought. "No."

Her expression told him that she wasn't buying it. "Come on Ranger, spill it. What is it? Should I have wore black? What? Jeez, if you want me to change my dress, I will."

He scoffed and looked up towards the ceiling. "I said, it's nothing."

"What's with the attitude?"

"I don't have an attitude!" By the time Ranger had realized that he had risen his voice, he didn't have time to cover the outburst up. He saw that Stephanie's face was one of surprise, her mouth agape, blinking up at him. He took a step back and folded his arms across his chest, angry that he had exploded so easily. He wasn't one to show emotions. Then again, he had never before encountered a woman like Stephanie.

"I'm sorry-" She started softy.

"No I am." He interrupted, sighing.

"I shouldn't have bugged you. Listen, we're gonna be late-"

"The party can wait." Ranger grabbed her wrist, pulling her to him so fast she didn't even realize they were flush against each other until he spoke again. "There is something bothering me."

"Just tell me."

He stayed silent for a while. "I'm going crazy without you Steph."

**Hardest thing about this confession is I just might ruin what we have I don't wanna lose what we got,  
But it's a chance I'll have to take.  
Don't wanna spend my whole life wonderin' what it feels like  
Bein' there beside you and kissin' on you all night.  
See I been makin' a mistake**

She blinked, seemingly confused. "Ranger, what do you mean?"

He sighed again and let her wrist go. "I can't take this anymore. We flirt, we sleep together once, we flirt some more." He looked her in the eye. "What are we doing?"

"I-" She paused, nothing coming to mind for her to say, speechless.

"Steph, this is dumb." Ranger spread his hands out. "We aren't teenagers."

"What does that have to do with anything?" She asked, her voice suddenly returning. She felt her heart beat up and her face flushed, caught off guard by his sudden confession.

"It means that this isn't a silly high school crush."

**You already know that I'm capable  
Can't you see who's been there all along?  
And I know I can't be wrong, so tell me**

She knew he was right and it made her even angrier. Stephanie hated to address this situation now, when she had just been so giddy and happy to get going to the party and finally be the girl on Carlos Manoso's arm, just for this night. The sudden change in subject wasn't going to end good, she just knew it.

"Ranger, why now?"

He stared at her. "Why not now?"

"Because we'll be late to the party that's why not!"

"Would you forget about the party!? Would you STOP making excuses for everything?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me!?"

"You avoid everything. If it's too complicate for Stephanie's little world then it's not good enough to pay attention to." He didn't know where this was coming from, but he knew that if he didn't get this off his chest now, he'd explode. Or worst, he'd bury it and never say anything at all, ever.

**Why…did I have to fall in love with you?** _(¿Cómo me haces falta tú?)  
_**When I know without you I can't function no more  
And you…, you'll never look at me the same** _(You know it's really drivin' me insane)  
_**When I know without you I can't function no more**

"I can't believe you!" She screamed angrily, balling her hands into fist. "YOU'RE the one who told me that you don't want a relationship, Ranger. YOU told me you weren't husband material and that YOU didn't want to be tied down yet. WHY are you blaming all this on ME?"

"Face it Steph," He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Even if I hadn't said all that, would you have chosen me over him?"

Stephanie opened her mouth to respond but then closed it immediately, seeing as she didn't have an answer. She had never actually asked herself that question and now as she thought about it, she really had no clue. Would she have? "I...I don't know."

"Exactly."

She looked up to shoot hm a glare. "Don't even try to pin this on me. If you really wanted me, you wouldn't have pushed me away!"

"Are you sure about that?" His voice was so soft she had to strain to hear.

Stephanie rubbed at her eyes, feeling them burn, exasperated with this already. "Ranger, what do you want from me?"

"Let me know I'm not wasting my time."

Stephanie gasped slightly, taken aback. "That's up to you."

He smiled cynically. "If it was Steph, we'd already be together."

"So now you're blaming it on me?" Her eyes widened.

"Partially."

Stephanie stared at him and something went off in her brain as his words registered in her mind. "Joe." She whispered sadly. "You want me to choose don't you?"

He just stared, his dark eyes focused on the door. "That's not what I meant by partially."

She shook her head."Ranger..I just can't choose a man like I choose a dress..It's..."

"Complicated?" He finished.

"I love Joe." She said softly, rubbing her arms.

**Ain't easy lovin' you when you're lovin' him  
There's no words that can describe.** _(Words that can describe)  
_**How it leaves me empty inside.**_ (How it leaves me so empty inside)_  
**When all I want is you.** _(Why…did I have to fall in love with you? )_**  
You'll never look at me the same.**

Ranger smile wryly and shook his head. "Of course you do." He turned and walked towards the door. As he opened it, an arm struck out and closed it shut.

"Ranger, I love you too." She said more forcibly, looking him in the eye, her eyes sparkling with oncoming tears. "So much."

"Not enough apparently." Ranger averted his gaze from her face.

"Stop." She cried, curling her hand around his. "Stop it, please. I'm not going to pick."

Ranger turned to stare into her eyes, his face softening as her hand squeezed his. "If I leave out this door and never come back, would you care?"

"Of course." She laughed, tears falling down her cheeks. He laughed too and watched as she wrapped her arms around him and cried in his shoulder. Ranger kept his hands at his sides, glancing up at the ceiling. He knew what he had to do but he wasn't sure if he could do it. He had been wrong all along. He had been driving himself insane for nothing. It was Now or Never.

A single tear rolled down his cheek as memories rushed over him and he closed his dark eyes, wondering why he had such bad luck with women.

**Why…did I have to fall in love with you?****_ (It's drivin' me insane…)  
_When I know without you I can't function no more _(Without you I can't function no more) _  
And you…, you'll never look at me the same (****_How I need you right now)  
_You know it's really drivin' me insane****_ (Drivin' myself insane)  
_When I know without you I can't function _(I'm drivin' myself insane)_**

After a moment of silence, he opened his eyes and sighed heavily, roughly pushing Stephanie off of him. She was so surprised she gasped and stumbled backwards.

"Ranger?" She looked at him with that tear stained face and he willed himself to ignore it. To ignore her. Stephanie watched him open the door and turn his back to her. "What are you doing?"

"_I'm_ making a choice."

And with that last statement, Ranger walked out.

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Hm. It's like I'm a sucker for sad endings / Don't verbally beat me up for this, I hadn't originally intended for it to end like that. I just like when Ranger gets fed up.

Also, thanks to ChloePeanut (bows) I have edited the original version a bit because she/he has shown me an error I missed(Which had me uber mad at myself for not realizing it .). Yes I know, if this had been a book, I wouldn't have a chance to change it but this isn't a book. It's Fanfiction :D Thanks Chloe, and I hope you read this again and see that I changed it.

Eh,

Review and Thanks for Reading.


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